While it may seem that some people just "have it" when it comes to sex appeal, according to a University of Colorado at Boulder communication and body language expert, sex appeal is not an inherent trait but something anyone can learn.
"Understanding body language and how that translates into sex appeal is something that can be learned with coaching and practice," said Stan Jones, professor emeritus of communication at CU-Boulder and an internationally recognized expert on body language. "It has more to do with what we call 聭gender signals' -- the distinctive behaviors that communicate femininity or masculinity -- than with physical beauty. What defines these signals is how people sit, stand, walk, dress and the way they use their hands, voice, eyes and facial expressions."
Jones has co-authored a new book called "Seven Days to Sex Appeal" with relationship and sensuality expert Eva Margolies. The book is a step-by-step guide written for women to help them communicate the confidence they need to be noticed in all types of social settings, said Jones. And though both men and women can learn these skills, he said the book was written for women.
"Originally, we had planned a book for both sexes but since women are more likely to read and use self-help books than men it didn't make sense that men and women would buy the book just to read half of it," said Jones. "Also, when Eva and I did seminars on body language and sex appeal, there have always been more women than men in attendance."
The book uses cartoon-like illustrations and narrative prose to tell the story of Sally, who represents a real-life woman who is being coached by Margolies and Jones. The "Seven Days" in the title actually refers to seven different training sessions with each session focusing on a specific kind of gender signal.
"These skills are not only beneficial for attracting romantic relationships, but can also be beneficial for long-term relationships, same-sex relationships and even work relationships," he said.
According to Jones, to better understand the finer nuances of gender signals, he and Margolies made hundreds of observations in the workplace, in singles bars and at parties, and videotaped people as they interacted. They even studied film of actresses known for their sex appeal to see how they created those impressions. He said they discovered what behaviors are essential to communicating sex appeal. And he points out that while both men and women can use gender signals to their advantage, masculine and feminine gender signals are quite different.
"We know these behaviors work," he said, "we have taught them many times to clients in our 聭sex appeal coaching' workshops and we have followed up with all our clients to get their feedback."
A podcast with Jones talking about his book, sex appeal and body language is available on the CU-Boulder News Center website at /.